Most of you know our circumstances, how stepping out in faith to obey God cost me my job. That was a difficult decision but at the same time it felt good. We knew then that God had spoken very clearly to us. We didn't know how or in what way, but we were confident that God would bless us and provide for us. Still, we come from a conservative background and if I had a nickel for every time I've heard a person say, "God helps those who help themselves!" I wouldn't have to worry about money. So, as time past and God called us to continue to step out in faith, to follow our dreams, to build the church and pursue who we really are, it got harder and harder. Now I sit here, writing this blog after having just cried out in prayer for God to deliver us. It isn't that we're broke, or that we don't have food to eat, but it is just the constant pressure of knowing that while money is still flowing out, nothing is flowing in. My rational brain wants me to scramble, to "make something happen," but what I really want is to be in control, to know that if I do this or that, I'll make enough money to pay our bills. It's hard to tell your children that you aren't spending money on toys or fast food. It's hard to decide that going to the movies isn't important enough to spend money on, or to wish that your children's feet would stop growing so that their shoes would last until you have more money. So how do we hold the course during such difficult circumstances? I think the best way is to hold on to what God has said, not just what the Bible says, but what God has specifically said to you.
When Jesus was compelled or driven into the wilderness to be tested by Satan, the three temptations we have recorded revolve around a singular theme, "if you really are the son of God..." The enemy is especially good at making us doubt the words of our God. Remember Adam and Eve, the snake said, "Did God really tell you that you would surely die?" We hear those voices too, "Did God really tell you to live debt free?" "Did God really tell you to wait till you're married?" "Did God really tell you to leave your job?" And he uses other tactics too, like an unexpected bill, or a well meaning friend whose advice plants a seed of doubt, or sometimes even earth shaking news like a bad report from the doctor or the loss of a job. But none of these life storms took God by surprise. He knew what was coming before he told you to step out in faith. So hang on that what he told you, think about it, dream about it, perhaps most importantly talk to God about it. Ask him questions, ask for confirmation, tell him your worries and your fears, but hold the course. When things in my life aren't going great I can fall into a depression that seems to suck out all of my desires. Even if the things that got me down have nothing to do what what I know God wants me to do, I often have trouble working up the desire to obey. So when those times come, I have to feed my faith, to remember what God is calling me to do, and what God is doing in me through it all. God's ultimate desire is to see us truly live, to know who we are so that we can live full, abundant, overflowing lives. That is why we hold the course, because everyday, moment by moment, when we cling to God and obey him, he is setting us free and enabling us to live life to the fullest.
So, I'm holding the course, despite the storms that rage around me, or the attacks of the enemy, or even my own desire to be in control. I'm going to hold on and not give in or give up. What about you?